Unless specifically noted, all roles are open to all regardless of race or ethnicity.

• Willie Clark – (male, age 70s) The quick-witted comic half of the famous and beloved Vaudeville comedy duo, Lewis and Clark, who has never forgiven his former partner for abruptly retiring and thus, retiring him, lives alone in his cluttered, run-down NYC resident hotel room fantasizing that he still has a viable show business career. He is embittered, cantankerous, confrontational and yet charming and lovable.
• Al Lewis – (male, age 70s) The straight man of the comedy team, after abruptly quitting the act following one of the duo's legendary arguments and then experiencing some health issues, has moved in with his daughter and her family in suburban New Jersey. He has adapted to retired life and is adequately content. Though he moves rather slowly, his mind remains sharp, his sense of timing perfect and his ability to push Willie's buttons as good as ever.
• Ben Silverman – (male, age 30s) Older sister. Willie's loving and understanding nephew, agent and often, the adult-in-the-room, remains devoted to Willie despite Willie's constant barrage of criticism hurled his way. He is indulgent, clever and genuinely working to restore what used to be a truly brilliant comedy act and even a better friendship.
• Registered Nurse – (female, late 40s or older) She is an experienced, no-nonsense health professional who cares for Willie after he suffers a heart attack who goes about her business unphased by Willie's merciless personal insults and is even able to give him a little of his own medicine.
  (It's possible that the actor may also play the Nurse in the sketch as well)
• Nurse – (female, age 20s - 30s) Plays the classic attractive and sexy (Marilyn Monroe-ish) blonde in the live, televised reprise of Lewis and Clark's most famous vaudeville sketch, The Doctor and The Tax Examination. (WARNING: Very un-PC so you need to be comfortable in a skimpy nurse's outfit, sexual innuendo and posturing).
  (It's possible that the actor may also play the Registered Nurse as well)
• Patient – (male, unspecified age) Is, of course, the hapless patient in The Doctor sketch.
• Eddie – (age 20s or 30s) Is onstage the Assistant Director for the rehearsal of The Doctor sketch at CBS studios.
• Director – Can be a voice-over or onstage role.
• Announcer – Can be a voice-over or onstage role.